The Doctor Telephone Maze
You’ve been there. We all have. It’s 8:30 am on a Monday. You woke up with a severe sore throat and fever. You know it’s Strep throat. Your child tested positive Friday at the urgent care. (The doctor is out on Fridays). So you call XYZ Medical Clinic for your doctor.
Voice mail: “Thank you for calling XYZ Medical Clinic. If you have a medical emergency, please hang up and call 911.”
You, sarcastically: “Really? I should call 911 for an emergency? What’s the number to 911?”
Voice mail: “Our office hours are 8-12 and 1-5 Monday-Thursday. We are closed for the weekend. If you have an urgent problem that cannot wait until Monday morning, please visit your local emergency room or urgent care clinic.”
You recheck your watch (8:31 am) and think. “Yes, my husband left for work this morning. It must be Monday.”
Voice mail: “If you would like someone to call you back for an appointment, press 1. If you would like to leave a message for Dr. X’s nurse, please press 2. If you would like to leave a message for Dr. Y’s nurse, please pres…”
You press 2 and leave your message after the beep.
You suffer by the phone… all day… waiting…
At 5:30 pm, the phone rings when you are in the shower. You rush to answer, dripping wet and shivering.
Nurse: “Mrs. Smith, you will have to come in for a visit.”
You: “But I know it’s Strep. My child has Strep. Can’t he just call me something in?”
Nurse: “No. I’m sorry. You know our policy is that you have to been seen once a year and it’s been 366 days since your last visit.”
You: “May I speak to the doctor?”
Nurse: “No. He’s busy trying to finish up his 4:00 appointment.”
You: “OK. Well, what time can I come in tomorrow?”
Nurse laughs: “Tomorrow! He doesn’t have any openings for 3 weeks!”
You slam down the phone and go to the urgent care.
The Doctor Dana Mays
Tuesday, you learn about Dr. Mays and her direct primary care practice, Yapha MD. You sign your family up thinking, “This is too good to be true but worth a try.”
Wednesday, your husband wakes up with a fever, chills and sore throat.
You call the number for Yapha MD.
Voice mail: “Hi. This is Doctor Mays. I’m with a patient. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
You leave your message and hang up the phone thinking, “Yeah, right. Sure you will.”
5 minutes later, the phone rings. “Hi Mrs. Smith. It’s Dr. Mays. How can I help you today?”
You explain the situation and the strep epidemic in your home.
Dr. Mays: “Let’s see. We haven’t had our initial visit yet. It’s the law and my policy that I see patients prior to any INITIAL treatment…”
You think: “Oh no. Here we go again.”
Dr. Mays continues: “Let’s see. I’m working at the urgent care until 6 today.” (Disclaimer: I have to keep my day job until I have enough patients to pay the bills.) “It’s up to you. You can either wait until this evening and I’ll come by your house after my shift…”
You interrupt: “What? You’ll come to my house? TODAY?”
Dr Mays continues: “Yes, or if you could swing by the urgent care, I could see your husband on my lunch break at noon.”
You: “How much will it cost?”
Dr. Mays: “The visit? It’s included in your membership. There may be a small mileage fee for travel to your home depending on where you live.”
You bring your husband at noon. I see him on my break. We schedule a time for the rest of the family’s initial visits. I call in or e-prescribe the prescription.
1 pm– You are at the pharmacy.
Pharmacy: “Ms. Smith, it’s gonna be a 2 hour wait…”
What can I say? I can’t solve all the world’s problems.